Linnéas’ thoughts on the paternity leave

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parenthood roundtheworld

Recently Linnéa and I were talking about various things. How she likes all the travelling. What she likes best. And what’s still ahead of us. Niklas was sleeping during that time. I love those moments. To discover how she’s thinking. What she’s worrying about. And how this changes so much over time, especially during the last year. For me it feels like there are three phases of developing since she was born with a clear focus on one visible ability. The first 1 1/2 years it were about gaining the basic control of the body, then came the language development and the last year it feels like there is the thinking, understanding and being on her own. That’s at least how I experienced it. During the discussion we started talking as well about the paternity leave. She was used going to the kindergarten since she was 1 year old and she loved it. Now she’s of course travelling, but her everyday life focuses around being with me and Niklas “at home”. Her point was:

“It’s fun! But one person alone cannot take care of two kids.”

She explained it a bit more and she gave examples. When I change diapers and she wants me to do something, it doesn’t work. When Niklas is hungry or needs to sleep, I cannot be there for her. If I read to her a story, Niklas sometimes just has to wait. I felt that she didn’t mean it in a negative way. More like a neutral matter of fact. And it’s true. During each day both of them have their needs and sometimes me too. It’s just a matter of prioritisation. She is the bigger one. She can do things on her own. And she understands an argument. So naturally that doesn’t help to get prioritised. The only thing which is on top of everything else is her need to go to the toilet and she knows when to pull that card :)

All this leads often to funny situations. When it takes for example almost an hour to get into the swimming pool, after we arrived. Stop 10 times on 50 meters while hiking. Not being able to finish anything. Starting the day with a cup of coffee that never gets finished. It’s funny to change the perspective sometimes, to take a break and to try to see the world out of a different angle. It’s not always like in the movies. We do a lot. We laugh a lot. We cry sometimes. We grow together. And she admitted at the end: We have quite a lot of fun.

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